feathers flying on rainy days.

Crushed. February 15, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeannelle @ 5:50 pm

and I told her to give up on her dream cause it’s never coming true. The one she so often speaks of yet won’t admit to. She ignored me – too distracted by the colours illuminating her face. I tried to make her understand how a child feels upon losing his beloved blankie; and go there. She wouldn’t even look at me – too distracted by the shade of blue that was her jeans. I told her it was impossible and she simply talked over me about the song playing on the radio.

Just like a preteen grasps to his first crush after the initial rejection; she refused to acknowledge my words. My words that would force her to give up the dream. A dream so silly it belongs in a world where we are all perfect and love never hurts.

-What she doesn’t know- I have the very same dream and have been telling myself to let go for years. And yet it’s so much easier to think about that song playing on the radio.

She didn’t let go.


Just over a year ago this sacrifice took place and still no freedom. February 7, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeannelle @ 8:13 pm

And you can try to wash it away, but no water is holy enough for such a task. Bathe us in your glory but I promise you peace will not come. We will drown in the misery. A sacrifice to God. A sacrifice for pain and for the world’s lack of love. On the day of our rebirth, then and only then will I rejoice. I will fall to my knees and thank the lord for our safe return. But for now there is no joy. no freedom. Only gasping for air while choking on the anguish.

When our eyes reopen we will finally be, free at last.



Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeannelle @ 8:09 pm

sometimes I wish love was like the movies.
I wish you’d open your eyes and realize
-everything you’ve ever wanted has been standing right here.
for years.


Sorry. January 30, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeannelle @ 6:22 am

if only you would acknowledge how you’ve hurt me
-destroyed me.
maybe then I could forgive you.

I’d say there’s hope for the future but
I doubt you’ll ever look back.


An Ode to the Past. January 29, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeannelle @ 11:16 pm

Last night you were everything. You showed me a side of you that I’ve been craving – for what feels like years. And with every breath you exhaled beauty. Only to be followed with astonishing intensity with every word that fell from your lips. The stars were incomparable to the expressions captured on your face.

Last night you took me places only you would know to go. Places we’ve been before and places we’ll visit once again. You lead me everywhere with the gentle warmth of your hand, with the comfort of your presence. And all along it could have been no where and nothing, because all that mattered was that you were there.

Last night you were mesmerizing, your eyes glistened and your heart shone. But where are you now, while I’m restless with tears on my pillow? Your cruelty is astounding, I never imagined you’d leave me behind like last night’s bad news. And yet once again I’m stuck with just a craving to see that moonlight enhanced version of you again. I find myself squeezing my eyelids tightly shut with the hopes of returning to our evening affair.

Last night was something my heart will never let go of and my mind will forever savour. And regardless of how often I go there, the air will never be as sweet and you will never be the same.

Last night I took a trip to the dream where losers go.


Fairy tale. January 24, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeannelle @ 3:14 am

Certainly not.
Prince Charming?
I didn’t want.

Yet I was still waiting for the fairy tale to start.
Always thought there’d eventually be a happy ending.
At least somewhere down the yellow brick road.

The paint faded.
Cracked and revealed plain old red.
The road crumbled.
The winding ended, no path laid out.

And still a dream is a wish the heart makes
– but I’m oh so ever awake.
Pages wrinkled and folded,
With a simple ‘The End’ the book closes.

This story has no happy ending.


blast from the past. January 21, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jeannelle @ 10:36 pm

Your lips are tainted. With words I’ll never utter. Your ears have a hunger. An unhealthy desire. I can assure you I won’t feed you, I have no response to the three words you have muttered. Your eyes are sincere but only for a moment. For you don’t understand the power. of what you express. Your guilty conscious sees nothing more than a mere three words. And yet you still have a hunger, an unhealthy desire.